Guilt Overload…
Becoming a mom is an exciting and rewarding experience, but it can also come with a lot of guilt. Not just new moms, but all moms want to get this parenting thing right. Somehow it seems like we are always feeling like even if we are slaying one part of motherhood, there are many other parts that are slipping through the cracks.
Enter the dreaded GUILT.
Guilt can stem from a variety of sources, including feeling like you're not doing enough (for your kids, your baby, your partner… the list goes on), not taking care of yourself, giving the new baby more attention than your other children or partner, or not meeting societal expectations.
While some of these strategies for managing the guilt that comes up seem basic, we all need a reminder from time to time… so here goes!
Practice Self-Compassion
Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy. As a mom, it's easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and self-blame. However, practicing self-compassion can help you break free from these negative thought patterns. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your struggles, and remind yourself that you're doing the best you can. There will be some good days, and some bad days and that’s all part of it.
Let Go of Perfectionism
Perfectionism can be a major source of guilt for new moms. It's easy to feel like you're not doing enough or not doing things perfectly. However, it's important to recognize that perfectionism is unrealistic and unattainable. Let go of the need to be perfect and focus on doing the best you can with what you have. Instead of allowing your brain to tell you all the things that you are NOT doing, Ask yourself the question: What am I doing? and What is enough in this situation?
Set Realistic Expectations
Setting realistic expectations can help reduce guilt and stress. Don't compare yourself to other moms or societal standards. Instead, focus on what works best for you and your family. Be realistic about what you can accomplish in a day and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
Prioritize Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is crucial to taking care of your family. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and finding time to do things you enjoy. When you prioritize self-care, you'll feel better equipped to handle the demands of motherhood and less guilty about taking time for yourself.
Seek Support
Don't be afraid to seek support from family, friends, or a therapist. Talking to someone who understands what you're going through can be incredibly helpful. A therapist can provide a safe and non-judgmental space to work through feelings of guilt and develop coping strategies.
Conquering guilt as a mom requires self-compassion, letting go of perfectionism, setting realistic expectations, prioritizing self-care, and seeking support. By taking steps to address feelings of guilt, you can enjoy the experience of motherhood without being weighed down by unnecessary guilt and stress.